29. “My Castle”
30. “I Met Jesus”
31. “I’m Not Okay”
28. “Stagnation” November 2015
When I’m feeling stuck – I’m stagnant.
When I ignore God – I’m stagnant.
Want to avoid pain – I’m stagnant.
Don’t want to see truth – I’m stagnant.
Don’t want to know God – I’m stagnant.
Don’t want to know me – I’m stagnant.
When I don’t even want to see,
My soul condition – the real me,
The real truth God knows about me.
God’s greatest creation – that’s me,
The potential that I can be.
As God created me to be.
I am responsible for me.
What I sow I will reap for me.
My choices can cause harm to me,
And to others which I must see,
Without change, this will always be.
I have to want real growth for me.
To grow I must understand me,
Accept the error that I see.
And want to know how God made me.
And understand what I can be.
I am a soul, that’s the real me.
How the soul works matters to me.
- “My Castle” November 2015
I discovered a world that seemed like hell.
And soon learnt how to stay in my own shell.
Didn’t trust my mother or any women.
Nor rely on my father or any men.
Life in the world was a scary battle.
I fortified the walls of my own castle.
I made myself feel good in my own space;
Only let in people that I could face.
Self reliant and self sufficient too.
At times I didn’t know what to do.
But I always pretended that I knew.
Asking for help not something I could do.
Always in fear that I would get it wrong.
Others would see and it wouldn’t take long.
It was up to me to do all that I could
That no matter what, I would still feel good.
I thought that I already knew enough.
Why would I want to learn any new stuff.
This was how I knew that I was okay.
I didn’t want to learn another way.
- “I Met Jesus” November 2015
I met Jesus when I was sixty-five.
I was lucky to even be alive.
I heard God’s Truth about Laws and the soul.
All of my life I have suppressed my soul.
It took until I was seventy-one,
To trust in God and want to be at-one.
It was six years long of hearing the Truth,
Enjoying some intellectual growth.
I had to find a desire for God;
A desire to love and want to change.
Each day it’s my choice how I use my will,
To grow God’s Way and pray to be humble.
Everything I want, God provides for me.
When I choose His way, my desires will be.
With sincere prayer, His love comes to me.
And changes my soul and more love there’ll be.
Seek first God’s Love then all else will be mine.
This is the only way to reach Heaven.
Jesus came back now to teach this again;
To redeem mankind he came back again.
- “I’m Not Okay” November 2015
What’s God’s Law of Attraction showing me:
The very thing I do not want to see.
It rocks the very base of my castle.
Don’t know if I’m ready for this battle.
I’m so very afraid just to be me.
If I give up the fear what will I see?
I don’t really know just who I will be.
I have never known who is the real me.
Why would a little child hide from the world?
Unable to trust any adult’s word.
In a safe place where I can always say,
That no matter what happens, I’m okay.
It’s a lie I’ve fed every single day.
Just to make myself feel safe come what may.
Every choice that I make supports the lie.
It has become my life to live the lie.
It’s so easy for angry spirits who,
Have the same lie, and tell me what to do.
They just keep telling me that I’m okay.
If I changed they would have to go away.
The truth is I have never been okay.
It was just something that I learnt to say.
Something my mother told me every day.
It will take courage to choose a new way.
God knows what’s best and He knows the real me.
If I have faith in Him, I will soon see,
How I can become all that I can be.
I don’t know the way, but God will show me.